In school they want all children to fit into one box. If you don’t fit into this box, the child will be labeled. The teacher will harass the parent the whole school year about how their child is bad, disruptive, doesn’t follow instructions, and even to the extent that they are special. I already knew that this could be our kid and so I prepared myself and my child. I am no expert, just a mom who has had experience and want to convey it to others so that they may do the same.
His first day, I made an effort to talk to his teacher. I made sure to tell her his strengths and weaknesses. I made sure to tell her that he is smart and he knows more than what he shows and tells. And throughout the year I made sure to visit and be a part of the classroom. I wanted the teacher to have a relationship with me and my child. If someone likes the parent they will like the child and be more receptive to actually making sure the child excel. The first parent teacher conference I was on edge, I knew he wasn’t performing as he should, his test scores were not good and his classroom behavior wasn’t the best (he wasn't bad, he just had Carter-isms), which I already expected. And as she talked to us and told us about Carter, she also told us that she knows he can do better. She knows because I had already prepared her, she knows cause she made an effort from what I said to get to know him. A few weeks after that, she had a conversation with me saying how she was concerned about him and his transition to first grade. I told her we would handle it. After the first semester we made an executive decision to turn off the tv definitely, to take away video games and all electronics, not just from him, but all of our kids. When he got bad reports or the teacher told us about his disruptive behavior, he was put on punishment. We banned together so that he wouldn’t fall behind, and so that he would excel. And all of our efforts I can say worked. His last card marking and test scores was up! He had really surprised us and we were very happy with what we did. TV and video games are still off limits, definitely.
So, why am I sharing this? I want to stress the importance of really knowing and understanding your child's ability. When you know your child, it is less likely that the teacher will convince you that he is dumb, he can’t learn, he needs drugs...etc Having an active boy is hard when they have to start school. Because we know that it is normal, but the teacher will peg it as abnormal and will convince you of that. If we as the parent already teach them and know what they can and can’t do, they will not be able to label your child. I know first hand that when you work full time that it is very hard to find the energy to go over material with your child, but it really only takes 15 minutes a day. And really that is all of the attention your child can give you anyway. My experience with having a very active boy was overwhelming when he started school, but knowing him and creating a relationship with the teacher really helped.
This is our experience and how my husband and I dealt with it. And we hope that this may help someone who has a child like Carter.